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Jun. 7th, 2014 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windsweptsummer[Filter: Private]
Well.
No one's said anything, so it must not be obvious. That's good. I was afraid everyone would somehow know the second they saw me! That's silly, isn't it? I'm not sure if I feel any different or not. ... Hmm, no, that's not true. I'm relieved that's all over with! It wasn't even very awkward. I was so afraid it would be, but it wasn't at all. I'm sure it would have been horribly awkward with Dimitri. He barely knows what to do with all of our clothes on.
I'm ... hmm. Actually, I'm almost relieved Amie can't write. I think I would want to write to her, and now I can't even be tempted. It's a terrible idea. She'd tell Josiah right away, even if I didn't tell her who it was, she would know. And I don't know what Josiah would do if -- why am I thinking about Josiah?!
I want to think about Jack. I want to tell you all about Jack, but I'm not sure I can write it all down! It wasn't that embarrassing at the time -- I thought I would be much more nervous but he's just so confident it was so easy to just ... oh, but looking back at it now is completely different! I can't believe I -- we -- did that! Like that! On the stage! I am never going to be able to be on another stage again without thinking about it! He must have known that, oooh!
Although, I suppose I'm having trouble doing anything right now without thinking about it. That's probably not very proper, either. But, being proper is so much less fun than not... that's a terrible thing to say.
But so, so true.
I wonder if he'll still be interested in me, now. Hmm. I know what they say about cads like him, I'm not stupid. But he can't be bored yet, can he?
Well, I'm not going to write to him first. That's what he'd expect me to do. And I can't do what he expects, not ever, or else he'll get bored, and I am not going to let him get bored first.
[pause]
I really wish I could tell someone about this, though!
Well.
No one's said anything, so it must not be obvious. That's good. I was afraid everyone would somehow know the second they saw me! That's silly, isn't it? I'm not sure if I feel any different or not. ... Hmm, no, that's not true. I'm relieved that's all over with! It wasn't even very awkward. I was so afraid it would be, but it wasn't at all. I'm sure it would have been horribly awkward with Dimitri. He barely knows what to do with all of our clothes on.
I'm ... hmm. Actually, I'm almost relieved Amie can't write. I think I would want to write to her, and now I can't even be tempted. It's a terrible idea. She'd tell Josiah right away, even if I didn't tell her who it was, she would know. And I don't know what Josiah would do if -- why am I thinking about Josiah?!
I want to think about Jack. I want to tell you all about Jack, but I'm not sure I can write it all down! It wasn't that embarrassing at the time -- I thought I would be much more nervous but he's just so confident it was so easy to just ... oh, but looking back at it now is completely different! I can't believe I -- we -- did that! Like that! On the stage! I am never going to be able to be on another stage again without thinking about it! He must have known that, oooh!
Although, I suppose I'm having trouble doing anything right now without thinking about it. That's probably not very proper, either. But, being proper is so much less fun than not... that's a terrible thing to say.
But so, so true.
I wonder if he'll still be interested in me, now. Hmm. I know what they say about cads like him, I'm not stupid. But he can't be bored yet, can he?
Well, I'm not going to write to him first. That's what he'd expect me to do. And I can't do what he expects, not ever, or else he'll get bored, and I am not going to let him get bored first.
[pause]
I really wish I could tell someone about this, though!
